Bridget Hart

First, they took away the doors,

To stop bullying, they said.

Then they tore urinals from the walls,

To stop sexism, they said.

Students scrapped  for pens and pads

They fought,  ‘this is ipad, get your own!’

For more efficient learning, they claimed.

Black boards became white boards

Then were swapped for e-boards

To stop racism, they said.

Teachers, examiners, learning assistants,

Eradicated discussion, interaction without screens.

Laughter, movement, playtime was dropped

To stop violence, they swore.

Within a year, no reason to walk,

Running not permitted

On a conveyor belt.

Regiments of pubescent pigs.

To stop hormonal disasters,  they said.

Feed regularly, troths filled with trifles, dressed in salad.

Wholesome artificial colours, preservatives and more.

With six hours of brand recognition and I.T a day,

No time for art, history, dance or drama

Top prevent integrity, they said.

A team of professionals lord a round table,

Educated men from the highest places,

Tesco’s very own average manager

To discuss the fate of children today

For a measured investment, they said.

Who needs architecture or lessons

Of the world? Kids today don’t need

To know about the population of

China, or where the next Olympics is held.

These kids don’t know what they want,

It’s up to adults to decide what they need,

LCD TVs on every wall, every room.

They don’t need playgrounds,

We’ll buy them fifty tredmills.

Glass roofing so they can at least

See the sky.