PSA: I’ve never liked the name Jenn, Jennifer and absolutely not Jenny, so I’m going by my middle name Bridget now.
I’ve neglected my blog recently, it’s been some months since I’ve dedicated any time to it, and part of that is because I have been in a state of flux that I am still very much in the middle of. After a hectic and summer of festivals and van life I returned home with tension in my heart and my head. My partner and I, after six and half years of being together, living under each other, spending most of our time together decided to separate. This was not easy, neither is the aftermath of which I have suffered from depression. Normally, when a break up occurs I’d be straight up to see Stacey, but that is no longer possible. I have felt the storm on both sides of my island and I’ve barely got any doors left. I have for the first time received chemical help from the doctor and am now on a mild antidepressant. Some people might feel uncomfortable at this ‘overshare’ but I have always been this open, desperate to reach out to people, but I’m sorry if my openness is not welcome or upsetting. I am starting to feel human again, hence the writing and spruce up of the site.
I am not really here to talk about my depression, or my break up, but rather to express how frightened I am of the future. Terrified, curious and excited. It occurred to me that I can do anything I want now. But with so much possibility I feel like shrinking away from everything. I am not quite ready to start diving into the next chapter of my life. However I’ve started small, making little plans, planting ideas, doing research and I think I have come to some decisions. Firstly I want to go to Canada, I’ve always really wanted to go visit there, and now that my partner _____ is moving over, it’s a good opportunity. I’ve recruited some friends to adventure with, so maybe some blogs in the future will be more focused on that.
I also have to, must must must write my show. I’ve been sitting on it for so long, it’s practically all there to write itself but I am scared of failure and have kept putting it off. My show is called Riot Mouth, it’s going to be able the female experience of DIY punk culture and it’s going to be great… when I actually write it.
One of the small things I mentioned earlier and sort of linked to the show, is that I’ve started a podcast. My wonderful friend Cassie and I got together and just decided to do it. It’s called Chips and Beans: A Punk Rock Podcast and we’ll be discussing all things DIY, feminist, political, stuff. haha. I’m very excited to have this project, it’s something that I can do from home, and also help progress some of the views that lots of women in the scene have, and share some great music too. Here’s the teaser:
https://soundcloud.com/user-535636211/0-intro
the first episode releases on 5th November, and we’ll be interviewing Bristol band Kiss Me, Killer who are launching their first EP on 10th at the Chelsea, come down! Violet Scott and Amelia Bones are playing, as are The Menstrual Cramps. Details here.
I was also really privileged to perform some poems at the private view of the Girl Gang exhibition which a few of my talented friends exhibited work for. It was an emotional performance, I was feeling pretty drained and I’m sad that I couldn’t stay longer and chat with everyone and have a drink. Those are the times when I feel such inner fucking turmoil and anxiety: a constant battle in my head about doing what I always do, and what I need to do. I need to take care of myself. But still! The exhibition was great, and I’m so proud of everyone involved. Please check out:
Anyway, that’s my update. Thanks everyone for being so lovely, especially Sali who whisked me off to Alton Towers yesterday for ULTIMATE FUN TIMES. I really needed a good day out with lots of energy and laughter. Thanks friends.
Bridget Hart 
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